Author: cynical but optimistic

Marx, God and the Devil (Humour)

 

‘When Karl Marx arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter had a problem: Marx was listed in the Big Book. St Peter gave God a quick call to explain that Marx had turned up and what he should do about it.



Marx!” said God “How did he get on the list. He’s been bad-mouthing me for years. ‘Opium of the masses’ indeed! Give Old Nick down below a call and see if he’ll take him, he owes me a favour or two.”



St Peter dutifully rang Satan. ”Yeah, go on, we’ll take him.” replied Satan ”Don’t know how he didn’t get sent here in the first place given all the trouble he’s caused.”



So Marx was sent to Hell.



Two weeks later, Satan rang God. ”See that Marx, its really not working out. All the demons are out on strike, there’s protests and demonstrations everyday with Marx keep urging people to cast off their chains. He’s causing absolute chaos. He was on your list so you need to take him back.”



Eventually God reluctantly agreed that Marx could be admitted to Heaven after all.



After a couple of weeks went by and Satan rang God to see whether everything was working out, but an angel answered the phone. “Hey, Gabriel”, said Satan “can I speak to your boss?”



Boss?” said the angel



Yeah, you know, God” said Satan, impatiently



Oh, him! Ah, no, not any more”, replied Gabriel “No bosses here, we’re all comrades now!”’

Marx, God and the Devil (Humour)

 

‘When Karl Marx arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter had a problem: Marx was listed in the Big Book. St Peter gave God a quick call to explain that Marx had turned up and what he should do about it.



Marx!” said God “How did he get on the list. He’s been bad-mouthing me for years. ‘Opium of the masses’ indeed! Give Old Nick down below a call and see if he’ll take him, he owes me a favour or two.”



St Peter dutifully rang Satan. ”Yeah, go on, we’ll take him.” replied Satan ”Don’t know how he didn’t get sent here in the first place given all the trouble he’s caused.”



So Marx was sent to Hell.



Two weeks later, Satan rang God. ”See that Marx, its really not working out. All the demons are out on strike, there’s protests and demonstrations everyday with Marx keep urging people to cast off their chains. He’s causing absolute chaos. He was on your list so you need to take him back.”



Eventually God reluctantly agreed that Marx could be admitted to Heaven after all.



After a couple of weeks went by and Satan rang God to see whether everything was working out, but an angel answered the phone. “Hey, Gabriel”, said Satan “can I speak to your boss?”



Boss?” said the angel



Yeah, you know, God” said Satan, impatiently



Oh, him! Ah, no, not any more”, replied Gabriel “No bosses here, we’re all comrades now!”’

Marx, God and the Devil (Humour)

 

‘When Karl Marx arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter had a problem: Marx was listed in the Big Book. St Peter gave God a quick call to explain that Marx had turned up and what he should do about it.



Marx!” said God “How did he get on the list. He’s been bad-mouthing me for years. ‘Opium of the masses’ indeed! Give Old Nick down below a call and see if he’ll take him, he owes me a favour or two.”



St Peter dutifully rang Satan. ”Yeah, go on, we’ll take him.” replied Satan ”Don’t know how he didn’t get sent here in the first place given all the trouble he’s caused.”



So Marx was sent to Hell.



Two weeks later, Satan rang God. ”See that Marx, its really not working out. All the demons are out on strike, there’s protests and demonstrations everyday with Marx keep urging people to cast off their chains. He’s causing absolute chaos. He was on your list so you need to take him back.”



Eventually God reluctantly agreed that Marx could be admitted to Heaven after all.



After a couple of weeks went by and Satan rang God to see whether everything was working out, but an angel answered the phone. “Hey, Gabriel”, said Satan “can I speak to your boss?”



Boss?” said the angel



Yeah, you know, God” said Satan, impatiently



Oh, him! Ah, no, not any more”, replied Gabriel “No bosses here, we’re all comrades now!”’

Remembering Karl Marx

 

‘Born on 5 May 1818, Karl Marx died 14th March 1883 after a long illness, his end undoubtedly being hastened by the death of his wife in 1881 and his favourite daughter, Jenny, in 1882. Marx devoted the best years of his life in the struggle for socialism and the fruits of his labours are a legacy of inestimable value to the working class. There were less than a dozen mourners for his funeral at Highgate Cemetery. You can tell capitalism is in trouble when people start talking about capitalism – people become aware of capitalism in crisis, just as an illness or injury makes you newly aware of the body you always took for granted. Thanks to the crisis, people all around the world are talking about capitalism again. To get a proper understanding of the phenomenon of recessions you have to look back to someone the press and TV tell us has been discredited and whose influence in the world is supposed to have been wholly bad – Marx. It was Marx who developed a real understanding of how the capitalist system operates and why it constantly fails to live up to the hopes of the politicians who preside over it.



For years Marx’s work was treated either by a conspiracy of silence or under ceaseless attack by politicians and academics who defended capitalism. These days it is different. In 1999 Karl Marx was voted the “Greatest Thinker of the Millennium” in a BBC online poll. Then in 2005 he was voted the “Greatest Philosopher” in another BBC poll. Karl Marx, the one-time almost unknown exile, the patient digger for economic facts in the British Museum Library, is now a “world figure.” No man of his generation could claim so many alleged followers, so many bitter enemies, as Marx, if he were alive to-day. Often a lot of nonsense is talked about Karl Marx, most of it from people who have never read him. But nowadays practically every bookshop will have the works of Marx for sale. These days it is fashionable to write long, confusing, dull books about Marx. Practically every place of higher education will have a course on some aspect of Marxism. Thanks to these modern Marxist scholars we have not just one Marx but many: Hegelian Marx, Young Marx, Mature Marx. Karl Marx was a “man of science” (his studies of capitalism) and a revolutionary who saw the working class having the “historical”, mission to abolish capitalism and to take humanity on to socialism.

Marx wasn’t just a scholar, but an activist and commentator on the world he often painfully lived in. No man’s ideas have suffered more at the hands of his self-claimed disciples. Even in Marx’s own time his views were distorted and misrepresented by would-be friends as well as opponents, so that Marx himself was driven to declare that he “was no Marxist.” Despite the widespread myth that he was discredited by the events of the 20th Century and given the gross distortions and misrepresentations of Marx’s ideas from Leninism, Trotskyism, Stalinism and Maoism, Marx’s ideas are in fact as relevant as ever today. Far from discrediting Marx, the events have vindicated him. Not only would Marx not have supported the Eastern European regimes, but he would have welcomed their downfall.

But what did Karl Marx actually have to say? Was he in favour of dictatorship? Did he think that the state should impose dull uniformity, rigid regimentation and boring work on its citizens? Did he think that human nature and talents should be suppressed in the name of equality and altruism and for the benefit of a collectivity? No. In fact, Karl Marx’s driving passion his whole life was the free development of the individual. Karl Marx was not opposed to the capitalist ideas of choice, liberty and individual freedom. He supported the ideas, but opposed the society that prevented them becoming a reality. He wanted to be able “to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening, criticise after dinner, just as I have a mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, herdsman or critic”.

Marx had come to socialism via German philosophy becoming a socialist sometime in the winter of 1843-4 and only later interested himself in economics. Marx comments that during the course of his studies he reached the conclusion that the explanation of social development was not to be found merely in the realm of ideas but rather in the material conditions of life, and that a proper understanding of capitalism is to be found in economics. Capital, written in the 1850s and 60s, was in fact not published till 1867.

Marx became a socialist out of a moral objection to what money and the state were doing to human dignity, before he began his scientific study of capitalism and the working class. Marx stood for a society without class conflict, without State power and without monetary fetishism and that the abolition of capitalism is not mechanically inevitable, but can only come about as a result of a conscious choice by the working class; if they don’t make this choice then capitalism will continue. Marx held that the working class should take political action to end politics and the state and that one of the forms this could take was democratic electoral action. Marx held that socialism could not be established unless a majority of workers had come to want and understand it.



“For the ultimate triumph of the ideas set forth in the Manifesto Marx relied solely and exclusively on the intellectual development of the working class, as it necessarily had to ensue from united action and discussion.” – Engels’ Preface to the 1890 German edition of the Communist Manifesto

Marx analysed the social and economic system he lived under in methodical detail by starting from the very categories used by the bourgeois economists themselves: the commodity, the exchange of commodities and then, most important, the buying and selling of labour power, which is at the core of the system of wage-slavery, a system we still live under in 2013 throughout the world.

Marx solved the paradox of the origin of profit created in the production process. He did so by distinguishing labour from labour power. The latter is the worker’s ability to work for a given number of days, whereas simple labour is the work performed during this time. If you pay someone a wage of £500 per week, that is what they need to live on and carry on being fit for work. You have bought their labour power for the week. But they will be able to generate £500’s worth of value well before the week is over, and the surplus belongs not to them but to the employer. The basis of life under capitalism is the workers’ sale of labour power to the employers, although this is not generally accepted as a true description of the world we live in. Marx, in a long, closely-reasoned analysis, has shown that this surplus is provided by the unpaid labour-power of the workers. Put into simple terms, this means that the wages of the worker are always less than the value of the articles he produces in the time covered by those wages. This is fully admitted in all business transactions, as no employer will engage a worker unless he can make the engagement “pay”—that is, unless he obtains a profit as a result of employing that worker.

Marx also correctly outlined:

1) the boom-slump cycle endemic to capitalism and how no government intervention—however benign—would be able to prevent it;



2) how the market economy would eventually spread its tentacles into every aspect of human life, conquering the entire planet in the process;



3) how an excess issue by governments of paper currency beyond that required by additional value production is the real cause of inflation;



4) class division and the modern development of a world economy where the division between the richest and the poorest is the widest in human history;



5) the growth of a colossal credit-based financial apparatus that, as time goes on, becomes increasingly isolated from the realities of the wealth production process which it depends.



The body of thought known as ‘Marxism’ comprises the labour theory of value, the materialist theory of history and the political theory of the class struggle. These are tools of analysis, which have been further developed and modified by socialists, to explain how the working class are exploited under capitalism and how world socialism will be the emancipation of our class. The validity of Marx’s theories is independent of Marx the man. Nonetheless, criticisms of Marx have been made because of the misinterpretations and distortions of Marxism that have occurred in the twentieth century. Marxism is not a dogma, not a record of the sayings and doings of Karl Marx to be carefully preserved and uncritically applied whatever the circumstances.

Marxism is a method of assessing what, at any particular time, is in the best interest of the working class and should be done to hasten the establishment of socialism. Marx’s political activity to further the cause of Socialism was shaped by the conditions of his time. Marx was politically active in an age when capitalism had yet to become the dominant world system, economically or politically. This decisively shaped his political tactics. Since he believed that capitalism paved the way for Socialism and that it still had part of this work to do, he advocated that, in this circumstance, socialists ought to work not only for Socialism but also for the progress of capitalism at the expense of reactionary political and social forms. This involved Marx in supporting campaigns to establish political democracy or which he felt would have the effect of stabilizing or protecting it. So we find him supporting independence for Ireland in order to weaken the power of the English landed aristocracy, who were an obstacle to the development of political democracy in Britain, and Polish independence in order to set up a buffer state between Tsarist Russia and the rest of Europe so as to give political democracy a chance to develop there. Marx supported the establishment of centralized States in Germany and Italy as he felt this would allow a more rapid capitalist development in these countries; and he supported the North in the American Civil War since he felt that a victory for the slave-owning South would slow down the development of capitalism in America. In the circumstances of the time it seemed logical to Marx that he should accept that for the moment the workers’ interests coincided with those of the bourgeois democrats, until such time as the absolutist regimes had been overthrown, and should then continue their struggle against the new bourgeois regimes. It was assumed that “the bourgeois democratic governments” could be placed in the situation of immediately losing “all backing among workers” (Marx’s address to the Communist League, 1850).

These policies made certain sense at a time when capitalism had not yet fully created the material basis for Socialism as a means of hastening this. But once capitalism had done this then they became outdated and reactionary. In these changed circumstances, an application of the Marxist method showed that socialists need no longer help capitalism prepare the way for socialism — it now has accomplished this and so has become a completely reactionary social system—but should rather concentrate exclusively on encouraging the growth of socialist consciousness and organization amongst the working class.

The best tribute to Marx is to recognise what is permanent in his work and put aside that which was dictated by temporary circumstances of the time in which he wrote. Marx is beginning to once more figure in the discussion within the protest movements and hopefully will bring some grounding to this confusing diversity of protesters; the conscious recognition in this movement of the international nature of our adversary, capitalism and the awareness of the necessity of a global action against it.’

https://soymb.com/search?q=Marx+tribute


SPGB Meeting TONIGHT Friday 14 March 1930 GMT ZOOM

 

HOW REALISTIC MUST THE SOCIALIST MODEL BE TO ACHIEVE SUPPORT FOR IT? (ZOOM)

Event DetailsDate: March 14, 2025 7:30 pm – 9:00 pm

Speaker: Danny Vogel

This discussion will be around issues that emerge from, or are based in, a socialist’s tendency to leave the details of socialism to those who will be achieving it. This discussion is not about whether socialists should be creating blueprints, but rather whether at least some understanding of possible ways in which socialism could work would better enhance its ability to convince. It may be of course that socialists already feel sufficient confidence in ways socialism could work. The discussion will therefore explore the pros and cons of the hypothesis in the title.

To connect to a Zoom meeting, click https://zoom.us/j/7421974305

…You’d have to cry.


Six days of the week it soils, With its sickening poison for paying a few bills, That’s out of proportion.’

Philip Larkin. Toads.

‘We are told we do not work hard enough nor long enough.’

This is the Labour party. We believe in the dignity of work and we believe in the dignity of every worker, which is why I am not afraid to take the big decisions needed to return this country to their interests whether that’s on welfare, immigration, our public services or our public finances…

‘Starmer said the current system was “discouraging people from working”.

The numbers of young people out of work meant “a wasted generation”, he said, with one in eight young people not in education, employment or training. “The people who really need that safety net [are] still not always getting the dignity they deserve.

“That’s unsustainable, it’s indefensible and it is unfair, people feel that in their bones,” he said. “It runs contrary to those deep British values that if you can work, you should. And if you want to work, the government should support you, not stop you.”’

Below is from the September 1923 issue of the Socialist Standard

‘We are told we do not work hard enough nor long enough.

Unemployment, and the evils resulting from it, are said to be due to the fact that the workers will not work. Stagnation in business is supposed to be due to the workers’ dislike for work. This is the piffle continually coming from the master class and their agents. Facts, however, prove the contrary to be true. The more we work, the greater our poverty becomes; the more we work, the greater the wealth of the master class becomes. We look back into the past history of society and see that there was a time when the people were only able to produce sufficient for their subsistence; thus it was essential that all should work.

As recently as the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries there was no such thing as unemployment through lack of work. Yet, in the days of feudalism, feudal slaves did not work so hard as wage slaves do to-day. Although working less, the people were better off; in recent times, though the workers work harder, poverty and its resultant evils have become greater. If we do not work hard, society would be short of the necessaries of life, ’tis said; but we know that food, clothing, shelter, and luxuries exist in great abundance.

The problem which the capitalist class cannot solve is how to dispose of the whole of the vast amount of goods produced. Factories, warehouses, stores, and shops are crowded with goods, and until these are sold, more will not be wanted. These goods can be bought with money only; money can be obtained by the workers only through working. Goods unsold mean no work for many; no work means no money. This state of affairs is brought about by overproduction, which proves that the workers have been working too much. But the irony of the position is that the workers, who have produced this vast wealth, are denied access to it. Why? Because it belongs to the capitalists. How have the latter gained control of this wealth? By robbing the producers. By this means the capitalist class have become the private owners of the means of living, i.e., factories, land, railways, etc., and they have made laws and raised armed forces to protect their property from the attacks of the workers.

Now, workers, you have the power to alter all this; you have the power to make life well worth living, by gaining control of the means of living. You have this power because the numbers of the working class far exceed those of the capitalist class. Riots, strikes, and bloody revolutions of the past have not given workers control of the means of living. To-day, these methods are still useless. But we have one method which is a sure method—the vote. To be able to use the vote to advantage requires knowledge. Workers, study Socialism, fight for Socialism, and bring about the Socialist Commonwealth which will free you from your chains and give a full and happy life to all.’

E. W. C.

https://socialiststandardmyspace.blogspot.com/2018/09/work-1923.html

If you didn’t laugh…

 

The headline in The Guardian reads,Starmer decries ‘worst of all worlds’ benefits system ahead of deep cuts.’

Britain’s benefits system is the “worst of all worlds”, with the number of people out of work or training “indefensible and unfair”, the prime minister has said as he prepares for deep cuts to disability payments.

Addressing a private meeting of Labour MPs Keir Starmer said he would take tough decisions to cut the bill for working age health and disability benefits, which is expected to hit £70bn by 2030.

The government has already vowed to cut £3bn over the next three years and is expected to announce billions more in savings from the personal independence payment (Pip), the main disability benefit.’

The guy is wasted in his role as Prime Minister. He should be a stand-up comedian. He would have his audience rolling in the aisles with mirth.

He’s already got plenty of knock ‘em dead material – different material to the one that wants to send the British working class to go fight and die in Ukraine.

His ‘welfare’ material includes, ‘It runs contrary to those deep British values that if you can work, you should. And if you want to work, the government should support you, not stop you’.

Also, ‘This is the Labour party. We believe in the dignity of work and we believe in the dignity of every worker, which is why I am not afraid to take the big decisions needed to return this country to their interests whether that’s on welfare, immigration, our public services or our public finances’.

Just give us a minutes whilst we wipe the tears fro our eyes and hold our aching from laughter stomachs. Firstly, who on earth still thinks that the Labour Party represents the working class? Did those who voted for it in 2024 think so? Secondly, the ‘deep British values’ are those of the ruling British capitalist class who have no qualms at all about firing workers when economic circumstances change and it’s profits are negatively affected.

Work is a Hobson’s Choice in a capitalist society where the necessities of life can only be obtained through the means of exchange which means selling one’s physical/mental labour power for a wage/salary in order to buy what one needs in order to live, work…repeat, and repeat again and again.The government is concerned that the recent growth in the bill for these benefits, which rose by nearly £13bn to £48bn between 2019-20 and 2023-24, is unsustainable.’ Governments within a capitalist system are there to run affairs for the benefit of the national capitalist class as a whole even if the are disagreements about various things between that class.

This threatened attack upon the weak in society is intended to lessen the burden of the capitalist class in its financial support of the state.

Starmer’s warfare will need funding from somewhere too.

How much longer willl the majority allow this all to continue? As Percy Shelley pointed out, we are many, they are few! Better late than never to understand and implement socialism. What’s stopping that?

Note: not suggesting socialism in one country only, socialism has to replace capitalism globally.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/mar/10/starmer-decries-worst-of-all-worlds-benefits-systems-ahead-of-deep-cuts




Birmingham Woes


Trigger warning for those with musophobia. To those unfamiliar with Robert Browning’s poem retelling of the Pied Piper legend it concerns the town of Hamelin in Germany which, in the middle ages, was a town overrun with rats.

One day a stranger appears before the Town Council and offers to rid the town of rats for one thousand guilders. This he proceeds to do by playing upon his pipe and leading all the rats into the river Weser to be drowned.

When he demands his agreed payment the Mayor and the council go back on the bargain, the rats no longer plaguing the town, and they thinking of how much wine they could refill their cellars for, offer him fifty guilders instead.

y failing to keep the bargain they cause the Pied Piper to take a terrible revenge upon the town

A recent story in the MailOnline describes the rat problems now faced by the citizens of Birmingham. Those interviewed ascribe the problem to the financial problems which the city finds itself in which have resulted in industrial action by bin men along with an increase in fly tipping and problems caused by work on the HS2 high speed railway.

The article notes the ‘outrage’ caused by the council now charging twenty four pounds per visit to get council pet control operatives to attend and deal with problems. This was once a free service.

Birmingham Council is Labour controlled and the subtext of the article is to infer that Labour is incompetent at running an enterprise like Birmingham Council. Which it may be. Birmingham has a ‘nine figure hole in its finances.’

The article lists the swingeing cuts to various welfare and other programmes that will take place and notes that higher charges will also occur in some.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14464457/city-rats-Birmingham-residents-horror-surge-rodents-tax-bin-strikes.html

A recent piece in The Sun focused upon a suburb of Birmingham, Perry Barr, which it describes as the unemployment centre of the UK. The article then goes on to speak of crime and drug abuse there.

A Job Centre employee is quoted, anonymously, as saying, ‘Most people don’t want to work because they are being paid too much – up to £3,000 per month.’ Are Sun readers going to unthinkingly accept figures like this and then mutter in outrage about the scrounging jobless?

Surprisingly the article offers balance in quoting individuals who speak of the difficulties in getting employment in that area. There are six areas of Birmingham listed in the top ten UK unemployment hotspots.

However, it can’t resist another dig, so quotes someone who says, ‘A lot of jobless people have more money than people in work. It is laziness, they won’t do certain jobs and think ‘Why should I work when I get more in the benefits system?’.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/33575799/unemployed-joblessness-capital-uk-birmingham

The blight which so negatively affects organisations operating in the present system and which makes individuals lives so miserable is capitalism. Until the majority understand this and are prepared to work toward the only sane alternative then misery of one kind or anothBer will continue to abound.






Business as usual

 ‘Many people appear to be shocked and affronted by the behaviour of those who currently control state power in the US.

They seem to have ‘blackmailed’ Ukraine to force them into an agreement about rare earths. They claim that they will take over Greenland ‘one way or the other’ (for raw materials and ‘defence’ it seems) and will ‘reclaim’ the Panama Canal – presumably by armed force in both cases, if necessary.

This is business as usual for any capitalist state – and that business is the protection of trade routes, markets and sources of industrial inputs. But for now the gloves have come off, there is less pretence than usual.

A true reflection of the economic system that it serves.’



https://www.worldsocialism.org/spgb/